its funny how influenced i am by things...the way i think...the way i behave...all that...
its like i monkey stuff.
so when i watch too much of scrubs...i actually do that looking diagonally upward thing...where i have the monologue going on in my head...
i also have that going on when that girl i know talks. but that has nothing to do with scrubs. she just talks a lot and i try to block it out in my head.
when i watch too much of friends...life's a sitcom...and i say things that the imaginary fake crowd in my head is fake laughing at...
but i really think thats a very bad show.
when i watch family guy. im just random...and its pretty fun...
i crack my fingers a lot too. and the nitrogen bubbles pop away...
apparently it gives you arthritis...but that has nothing to do with the topic in discussion.

there really isnt any discussion either...im just saying things...

but one character i think i really relate to in life...and this is after a whole lot of careful contemplation about what sort of person i believe i am...is michael scott...

"Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it's not like this compulsive need to be liked. Like my need to be praised."

and thats the quote that made me come to the conclusion...and its good cuz i now know what it takes to discover who i am...

I believe that it is a focussed introspection of yourself that can open up avenues that you never knew existed to finding out who the real you is...and its the easiest person to be...

and the real me is the person i want to be...

the real me is the person i strive to be...

the real me is the person i live to be...

i feel that person inside of me...

thats what she said...

yea. i planned that.

im not sure how exactly i feel about it

wow. this is lame.

This is where i start again...
i am going to type the shit out of the keyboard...

tomorrow.

haha...i think im finally becoming like akash...
i dont know if its a good thing cuz i used to make fun of him a lot about his writing...but now the jokes on me huh??

i think im jus lonely...and i need to talk to a friend...but shes sleepy...



so cant wait for welcome week at uni...thats when the big one year long party starts

rap spoils all. this is a pretty random title...but im listening to this song which just messes up the vibe

im in love....yeah....

and i miss her a lot...but im usually not this mushy in public...but she really has the ability to make or break my day....


ive fallen....to such a level of stupidity...i need a girl to change my state of mind...im sorry i did this to myself....

i really have fallen in love...and i dont know if theres much i can do about it...

love should me more of a rising thing...it should take me above all this...it should be a growing process...so that master named osho preaches...
but really...i dont get it...

if u like a person...ure obviously afraid of losing her...but cuz the sand slips out...you probably will by the end of the thought...

amy lee has a beautiful voice...

sand in my hand?

he says the only way to obtaining all that you want...is to let it go...

whats this funny...sandy thing?

oh...lol...it is sand...

its got a really cool prioperty...the more u try to grasp...the more it falls out....
the more u leave it be...the more it stays with you....

until of course u get bored with sand in your hand and throw it away....thats when you notice the whole friggin beach...

pretty much everything you need to know about life...its deep...ask me what i meant if u dont get me....i might be able to explain...

''can you please shift this elephantitis from the left leg to the right leg?''

'' is that really all you want? i could give you everything in the world u know...''

'' oh i dont want it...im just out of things to want...and you ask with so much love...i figured i had to say something...''

only when i laugh...

as i listen to the sex pistols and ponder upon the true reason for nancy spungen's death. i suddenly think of dominique...

it all started when i was born...and then someone pressed that really small button with the two triangles strategically placed so that it looks like one is trying to follow the other....

then i was playing football with a bunch of kids in the state of ontario, Canada. its funny. they think footballs a totally different game where they dont use the foot at all...but rather run around and jump on top of each other. they call it soccer.

this six year old runs and trips over the ball...and being the really concerned individual that i am, i run to him and pick him up...

the first thing i noticed about him was his teeth...there wernt very many...thats why it was so easy...the front two were missing...i caught that...i dont really know about the rest...

anyway...so theres this bruise on his knee...the other kids gather around because...well...kids do that...

and then i ask the million dollar question....

'does it hurt really bad...?'

'only when i laugh'he says simply...

the other kids get sick of goggling at the blood...and get on with the game...


dominique goes home...cuz hes bleeding...

i stand there wondering what in the world he just meant while the kids score through my legs...